You're Fired

Happy days, The Apprentice is back. You do tend to forget how great it is - 16 absolute halfwits competing for a job with the curmudgeon's curmudgeon Alan Sugar. He must just kill himself laughing off camera, he must. Being him must be the best fun ever at Apprentice time.

The Chapel Market coffee-selling was just idiocy of the highest, highest order. It wasn't just one person who reckoned they knew London and then decided to sell posh coffee on North London's greasy spoon capital, there was two of them. More astonishing is that they stood on an almost empty street for three hours, sold 11 cups of coffee and then blamed team leader Andy who duly got the boot.

Brilliantly daft. It can't be real, they're all actors surely. Surely.