I'll probably delete this...

I was just having a rummage around and found Andrew Collins' rather fine blog. His incredulity at The Apprentice made me chuckle, as does much of what he writes when indeed he does write these days.

In among some fine TV and music writing, I found the following post from March 4 which seems to sum up the sort of stuff that's filling my head as I teeter on the brink of 40.

Not that Mr Collins should be having wobbles, he's certainly filled his boots over the years. But it is quite reassuring to know that having trodden a similar path early doors it's normal to wonder what the heck the next bit of life has in store.

"Today I am the age that is also the meaning of life. This is handy. Thanks to Darren in Manchester for telling me that the popular song Happy Birthday To You was first published on March 4, 1924. This is also handy. I think it may be time for me to do or produce something profound. Having recently finished organising my working life (1988-2006) into a book for publication in May, I am more than aware of what we must call my achievements. I also know that I still haven't found what I'm looking for, jobwise. I've done quite a few things in the world of the media, most of which have been superceded by other things. At the moment I am still a DJ, albeit less of one than I was two years ago. I am, however, more of a scriptwriter than I was two years ago. The plates of my indecision constantly shift. I am an author, but not of anything made-up. I'd like to rectify that at some point in the near future. I'm not much of a journalist any more, even though that was my apprenticeship. I write occasional book reviews for the Times and at least one monthly column for Word, plus other bits and pieces when I have the time. I have just finished reading a beautifully written piece by David Denby in the New Yorker about the move from the fringes of filmmaking to the mainstream of fractured narrative. It would be lovely to write something as beautiful as pretty much anything in the New Yorker. It would also be nice to write something with a fractured narrative."

As for me, the next bit might well be starting with the launch of a brand-new, groundbreaking online-only publication - outrageous salary demands pending, natch... outrageous because of how cheap I've become in order to do some exciting work. Fingers crossed eh?

P.S. It's not the relaunch of Melody Maker as an e-zine, sadly. I did give it a punt - but there's no way IPC would go for it as it'd involve banging their own nails into the NME coffin and actually challenging NME.COM's dominance which is a bit like punching yourself in the head, thinking how much it hurts and then doing it again only harder. That said they have certainly done madder things in the past.